just got back from the ortho...my teeth are tight..

maaan...i feel soo lost right now...i'm soo down on myself again. i swear this happens to me every time after i find out my grades for a midterm or whatever...i'm tired of this cycle of happiness and fun and then all of a sudden i get to a LOW point in my life again because i feel soo lost..and i hate it cause i feel so dumb and like a baby when i'm with my friends...like i'm bringing them down all the time cause i worry a lot about my grades...cause it HELLA gets to me..so i try not to show it so much. i just keep quiet. what the hell am i doing here? what's my purpose here? in life? you can only "go with the flow" for so long...i need some direction in my life. maybe it will help me become more motivated in school instead of being so pessimistic about it all the time. so business sounds good...but am i really interested in it? grrr....I DONT KNOW! i hate CRYING over nothing..there's just too much pressure on me...to succeed...to graduate in four years...to make a lot of money...to please my parents..college is about finding yourself so i guess thats what im goin through right now..but maan it sucks! ONE EMOTIONAL RIDE!! i'm such a dork... ;*( i gotta stop crying to myself...

sorry for all that drama..but hey, it's a blog! it's what it's for...it sucks when you feel like you cant really talk to anyone cause youre afraid of sounding dumb..or maybe i do have people to talk to but then its just NOT THE SAME anymore...

"through the rain"-mariah carey
"my saving grace"-mariah carey