my life is a roller coaster

right now im attempting to climb a steep drop, who knows if ill ever reach the top to enjoy the rest of the ride...





sorry to all who deal with my random emotions. i really am and i feel bad for it. im workin on fixin' myself, promise.


EDIT later in the night:

just got done watching "the wedding date" with the roomies and i must say it was a cute movie. line of the night? "i think id miss you even though we've never met." it melts my heart..HAH. this may sound gross, but ya know, if i was a guy...i think id win best bf of the freakin millenium. hahah, me and my hopeless romantic imagination. geezus.

random IMs are great :) i love to look back and laugh at us. lookin forward to the "one night"... oh man...craaaAAAAaaaazy!

ps. who else wanted to cry with jessica last night on laguna beach? i fckN feel that girl. riiiiiiight???!

so i guess its over?

in sooo many damn ways.

ive been drinking like no tomorrow. 3 days in a row...fckN nuts i tell ya.

Wednesday: good times reliving our loser days of first year with angelo, madel, and sherlyn. drinks, a walk to remember, and throwing cards at each other. not to mention nicky in our oven. who would have known? soo much fun guys. check out pics on http://www.imagestation.com/member/?name=jennx285

oh yea, and the craziest shit happened that night. roel and i were eating dinner on the counter and talking to madel who was in the living room. all of sudden the glass of wine starts moving across the counter on its own...WTF?! no fckN joke ya'll! it wasnt a quick jerk either, it was slow and moved a good 3 inches at least. roel, me, and madel saw it. i dont know what's going on, but at least we felt no evil vibes goin around. NUTS!

Thurs: had some red wine with some bomb-ass steak. not really a big fan of wine, but this one was goooood. i NEED to go to napa valley. then sherlyn made me drink a white russian. tipsy tipsy. had a allston lofts reunion since norman came back. i dont even remember what we did.

Friday: chris and kay ann's birthday party. whoooo, never been that drunk before! major party foul trying to pour myself a shot. now i know what it feels like to be like sherlyn drunk ;p threw up once...and only once, thank God. on the other hand, like 7 other people yakked at our place: couch, carpet, bathroom, sink. the clean up was not fun. why was everyone gone within the first 2 hours? and someone fckN put my toothbrush on the floor. if you did it and youre reading this..."punk-ass! you're lucky i had a spare!"

we also had our senior dinner...cant believe ive been kickin it with these folks for almost 4 years. damn, we're old.



i wished i lived at the happiest place on earth.

back in berk

i fought tears even before i left my house. oh maan, it was tough. didnt have a happy face at all the whole trip back. i think i smiled once when this little girl across from me was trying to wiggle out of her seat belt...it was cute. other than that, i think i strained my facial muscles from all that frowning. i got back at 5pm and six hours later my clothes are still packed in my duffle bag...ill unpack..soon.

so i am no longer a "free-movie @ the base" virgin...its kinda nice in there. "A Perfect Man" was cute. the guy in the movie said, "love is friendship over fire." aint it true though? its a big risk...but at the same time, not. the work of two people can keep it burning forever. but if one person gets tired and gives up, it only leaves the other weak and alone until eventually the fire burns out. then youre left with nothing? casue im sure we all know that you cant light a burnt piece of wood. maybe im over analyzing....i tend to do that more than i want.

:humph:

these girls make me smile:

(1) baby caroline is so big now! cant believe she was was premature
(2) the cutest mestiza kids around

no more paradise hills :(

how sad...my last night at nilo way. in november ill be heading home to valley center. where the fck is that right?! ill definetly miss this place...the 54, the mexican places, being 5 minutes away from all my cousins, the familiarity of my childhood :( so today i cleaned out my closet...throughout my bell and morse years i somehow managed to save every assignment, note, progress report...got me all emotional throwing them in the recyling bin. im thinkin', "damn, i was that good in high school?!" heh...those were the days! so here's my farewell to 1784...memories...jumping off the roof, my brother falling off the stairs on to the marble floor, dropping a watermelon on the floor, biking down my hill...the list goes on...

im just waiting for reality to sink in. cheers.

just to update

so i think i won the award for best recovery from wisdom teeth :) no swelling, no pain, no blood. puuuuuuuuuuurfect. or maybe my cheeks are too chubby to tell? the best thing was waking up on my couch with my shuffle in my ear not even realizing how i ended up there. the worst part was having my oral surgeon mistaken me for being 14 years old. uh...ok, so what am i filling out this patient info card for?? no wonder he was talking to me like i didnt understand english. dumbass.

so ive actually been out and about like any other day in sd. love the hot sun. chris' 21st bday bbq...fun stuff. reunited with my "ex," or boy i dated in 9th grade if you will. weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeird. good seeing the first boy who started my road to broken hearts. haha, ok..that was fcked up. but so is every other guy in my life so whatever!

went to magic mountain with the siblings and cousins. i haaaate long lines. whats even worse is seeing all these damn _____ couples that cling to each other and make out as if its cute or something. literally every 5 minutes. no fckn joke! PUH_LEASE. you make me sick. quit the fckn PDA! what the fckN fck?! hahah. sorry, its one of my biggest pet peeves >:o

whoops, i think this entry is a little to angry..yea? dont get me wrong though...im happy :)

ps...i love laguna beach!

always a :) when im going home

summer school is over. did really good on my lab exam...so this is what it feels like?? :D hopefully my final was good too...

a week and a half of vacation. here's what i have to look forward to:

saying bye to my wisdom teeth :( thats gonna take at least 5 days out of me. dammit.

half a week of vacation. here's what i have to look forward to:

spending time with my family, cousins, magic mountain??, and perhaps valley center (HaH)

bye berkeley! i wont miss you too much!

it's been good

"keep in mind your most cherished dreams of the future."-fortune cookie

i guess ive been blessed with great fortunes as of late...and even more, wonderful friends. THANK YOU.

so its been awhile

what can i say? busy? eh...more like major issues and fighting my own battles.

been eating out like crazy....as if im rich or something. i figured this is the only way to get food into my stomach. new restaurants are always fun :)

old tea house-yay
triple rock brewery- yay (plus they didnt card us)
joshuya-eh (dont get the spicy scallop roll)

not to mention i think ive partied more these past few weeks than i have my entire second and third year. and let me tell you....it feels damn good. wasted college years? better late than never.

finally went to blakes on a thursday night. oh man, who doesnt love showering in other people's sweat? nonetheless it was fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun. cant believe i missed chimichandra mishap on the floor...muahahah.

last week of school............

God is always with you.....right?? church was perfect today.

"you will finallly solve a difficult problem that will mean much to you."-fortune cookie

i remember when my life was perfect, or as close to perfect as it can get. family, school, friends...roel. why did everything have to change? i hate change. id give anything to get all that back...anything. denial...its what keeps me going these days. whatever makes me feel better, ill do it.
things will be better. i hope.

crunked on a monday night

midterm over= great times once again

dinner at Raleighs...bad first experience cause our waiter was a dick...until jo came and then he got nice. ;p

afterwards we drank, laughed, talked, "cloved," the night away. heart those girls.

new vocab: chimiCHANDRA and bROMBAOA. damn, we're clever.

since we made shelryn drink, we went with her to her 8:30am class. "we drink together, we go to class together." thats some support system right there! plus there was a bonus for going :)





summerbreeze.jasonmraz