yesterday i went to UTC with ruthie...damn...shopping AGAIN! of course the only reason we went there was to hit up hollister...weather sucked yesterday. afterwards we went to visit nate and got to see earl, fred, and elaine too. haven't seen those fools in forever and a day. then my dad calls at 9 30 askin where i was....geez....then the freakin drama fo yo mama starts...

i came home after my dad called...i hate that shit! 19 years old and i still have to be home before 12?! WTF?! arghhhhhhhhhhhh...i started complaining and crying askin why he always picks on me. then my brother tries to stick up for me and my dad just gives his whole BS excuse of wanting me to be a "decent girl." school first and shit like that...it's like, damn i know already! if i wasn't a decent girl would i be in berkeley right now? dont think so...do i look like the vulnerable type to let myself be taken advantage of? gosh..i have my own morals and values. it's not like i wanna mess up my life. i wanna graduate, i wanna get a job and be successful....and i just wanna have fun. i'm turning 20 in december and i can't help but think that ive missed out on my teen years cause i've been restricted so much. SUCKs....he raised me well and im grateful...but he needs to learn how to let go...i'm not the little girl he thinks i am anymore...im strong and independant. i wish my dad could see that...until then im a prisoner! >:o

so what's been up in SD? well....lets see...a bunch of NOTHING MUCH! haha...weather is good...definetly. even though the sun isnt out, its still hot. i've been to the malls alot too...i got new slippers ;> i also ran into john and cindy coincidentally at fashion, haha...had to happen sometime right? we just looked at each other...didnt even talk to john. its ok, whatever. things are better that way. other than that...im back to the usual driving my bros everywhere, cleaning, and running errands. sucks cause right now my sister has my car in riverside. booooooooo! like it matters cause my parents dont let me out...but they let my brother and sister out as they please with NO questions asked...what kind of shit is that?! argh...the one thing that pisses me off everyday...i dont get it. they dont want me to have fun or something... sucks for me! : / my dad said it's cause im more "precious" and he loves me more...can we say bull shit?!

hmm..what else? oh yea, of course the santa barbara trip this weekend didnt work out cause my sister has my car. roel isn't goin either so i didnt mind as much about not goin. then im suppose to head to pamona friday with madel for an xpo party...dont think that's gonna happen either cause on saturday i have to be somewhere...i'll talk about that later...

ahhh...it hasn't even been a full week and maan do i miss roel. he always makes the effort to call, even when he's out...makes my day ;> it's gonna be one tough summer

i miss my roomates and floormates too....i swear it still hasn't hit me that we're never goin back to SB-7 : /

last days in Berkeley
so i changed my flight to SATURDAY cause madel changed hers. thank God cause i soo wasn't ready to leave. anyways...THURSDAY we had a dinner with all the pilipino folks...we cooked all our leftover canned foods and stuff. spam and cornbeef, MmmmMMMm...then i started packing shit. maan that was tough. i got almost all my stuff done that night. i literally sat there and stared into nothing...i was fckN sad. FRIDAY i went with roel to pick up his car in union city. i got to meet a couple of his friends and they were hella cool and saw his mom again. then we headed back to berkeley to drop stuff at our storage..we only had enough time to bring madel and sherlyn's stuff...so yea, i had to wait til saturday morning for mine. that night was soo sad...ate out with my roomates lora and drea. and then Spen-Black 7th floor had our last good times together...we made our own slide show and stuff...me and drea made a tight ass frame with our floor's pics for Auechen to thank him for everything and got a pinata for the floor. everyone was drunk but i was sober since i had to wake up early. Saturday me and roel woke up at 7 so i could drop my stuff off at storage. then we got breakfast and i got ready to leave...maan...tough stuff. drea was hella holding me back cause she didnt want me to leave...haha, that was cute. i was kinda sad that lora wasnt there to see me off. it didnt feel like i wasnt gonna see these people anymore...then we picked up madel and headed to the airport around 11. maan, i have the worst luck with airports. i was one of the "special" people who had to go through the VERY random THOROUGH checks. f-that! roel is too sweet... he got me this cheetah bear thing (to match my slippers and blanket) and card. i felt bad cause i didnt get him anything. then we chilled til i had to leave....i read the card on the plane and got all sad...maan...freshman year was fckN great...i'll save that reflection for my next entry...its gonna be a long one...

thanks soo much roel for everything...the rides, helping us move, carrying our boxes...you hella sacrificed your time and i appreciate it soo much. i dont know what we would have done without you...youre the best!

it's freakin great having nothing to worry about!
Berkeley weather has been AMAZING this week..i wore skirts and tanks and shorts this whole week...craaaAAAzy! finally! sheesh...all of that was buried in my closet and i thought i would never get to use it. great way to leave Cal!

yesterday my cousin charlene came by to drop of some luggage for me...we had lunch with her friends and roel at the Thai House so that was pretty cool. they're hella funny. then we ran my errands and got some storage space. ahhh..! moving out is soo surreal...i dont wanna move out of the dorms! then roel and i headed to Berkeley Marina to chill for a bit. that was cool...we got back in time to watch American Idol. yaay for RUEBEN!

last night was fun...drea and i got soo drunk. SIGH...the morning after was BLEH! i was sooo dizzy...i haven't had a hang over like that in awhile...no more drinks! it reminded me why i dont like alcohol! sorry i missed out on the "girls night out" guys...hope it was fun : /

now really...i HAVE to pack! maan...im gonna miss everyone!

it's OVER!!

hell yes...freshman year is officially finished! its 8:30am and i just turned in my last final essay of the year and pulled my last asian am all nighter with drea...maan it felt fckN good after i turned that shit it! ;D then walkin back i kinda got sad...

time to pack it up...it's ironic how i was sad to leave SD and now im sad to leave berkeley :(

astro is OVER!! hell yes! gosh that final was wack...100 questions at 8am is NOT good...i haven't got up that early in years! i just got tired of reading for 3 hours straight. maan..whatever. i wanna burn that fckn book. well afterwards i tried to sleep but it didnt work so i went through the whole day without a nap..i ate dinner with madel, sherlyn, and norman which was great cause i feel like i haven't seen them in forever. caught up with them and our lives. then we headed to the maganda banquet which was pretty cool...i love listening to spoken words..there was this one crazy ass mofo though..hahah...he pointed at everyone in the room and said "do not...do not...do not.." i swear i thought he was gonna hold us hostage or some shit. hahah...well that didnt end til 11 and then even though i was tired as fck i still went to the AFTER PARTY. which was kinda weak. not as many people there. plus i wasn't in the party mood. but i guess it was arlight. i haven't danced in a while so that was fun. then this one guy asked me, "are you gonna let me dance alone?" and i was like..."WTF?!" i just looked at him crazy. but i still danced with him cause im too nice. good thing it was at the end though...muhahahahhaha.

well anyways...someone told me something that hella pissed me off and brought me down...dude, wtf is wrong with YOU?! i swear...some things or some PEOPLE will never change...im even more mad at the fact that i allowed myself to still be affected by your actions...but it doesnt matter now cause it just made me realize how grateful i am that things ended up the way they are right now...IM HAPPY

so last night was the PASS Banquet. we didnt get the position for PASOC facilitators, but i'm really happy for becky and tes cause they definetely deserve it. i have 3 more years at berkeley anyway, so i aint trippin. maan..im hella sad to see the seniors go. i got pretty close to a bunch of them and they all helped make my freshman year freakin great and memorable. :*( it finally hit me that the year is ending. fuck i dont wanna be sad right now...i'll reflect later on my freshman year...

today was....i can't even explain it in words.....i went to union city with roel and spent the whole day with him. i met his family...who were hella cool. i was kinda scared..but they're all very chill. we picked up his tux for prom cause he's taking his friend. and he looked very handsome. haha..then he insisted we eat out, so we did at some restaurant and then watched "the matrix-reloaded." not really my type of movie, but it was cool ;p then we chilled at his house. the whole day im just feeling AMAZED at everything...especially at him ;> i realized that im so lucky that i have such a great guy...i dont know what to say...it seriously feels like im dreaming, as cliche as that is. im VERY happy!!

Aww..last day of school ;>

Fck yea! no more schoooooooool! life is great right now ;> no more classes, it's been warm in berkeley, and i've been fCKn happy. sigh...maan, i'm soo lucky. who would have ever thought i'd find someone at berkeley? cause i surely didnt think so! but on a sad note...my first final is saturday morning at 8 and last final on tuesday at 9. plus i leave next friday...maan, i'm freakin sad. definetely gonna miss the dorms and the roomates : /

so much has been goin on...

Thursday: PASS's budget was cut so we all rallied up in the ASUC senate meeting all freakin day to show our support...what an experience! very empowering stuff. it's hella crazy how people are soo strong and passionate about their organization..i swear i'll never see anything else like it. some people were there the whole time..which was 24 hours...(literally)..cause everything ended up in a debate..well i guess thats berkeley fo ya!

Friday: took a bart trip with madel, sherlyn, and roel to daly city to pick up madel's cousin who drove up from SLO with her friends...i didnt know it was so tiring to sit in the damn bart! but anyways...despite all the parties that went on that night, i was fckN tired so roel and i just rented DRUMLINE...but i was too lazy to watch it so i just listened.

Saturday: had my interview for PASS...i think it went well. but who knows..it was hella weird being interviewed by my friends..but i have other years to be involved so i aint trippin. at 4:30 we got in line for the JURASSIC 5 concert at the Greek Ampitheater..we thought it would be a long line, but it wasnt. haha..its all good though. we just chilled. the concert was pretty dope..we sat close. and even though i didnt know them, i thought they had good beats and stuff. some punk group called Strung Out and another hip hop group called Living Legends performed too... the whole vibe was just fckN cool..freakin i swear everyone got high during the concert...haha, and this was my FIRST CONCERT ever..and it was free. good shit..maan it was freakin cold though! good thing i had roel..haha ;p

then afterwards...we had a MAD PARTY on our floor..i dont think this was ever done in the units. yup, breakin barriers. we were only able to pull it off cause our RA is hella cool. soo many people were here and freakin faded...we had a keg and dj in the lounge..crazy shit...but them some fools had a fight in the hall way so we had to close it down by 2..the folks on our floor still partied though...i guess some crazy stuff went down in the lounge..kissing and what not. haha...roel and i just slept cause we weret tired. but the worse thing was that some fckN idiot put beer in the fist bowl! i swear i was gonna cry...and they were just laughing at me when i was trying to save them. SHEESH! they almost fell in the sink too...maaan...i love those goldfish!

2 more weeks left..damn im sad!

A's Game with PASS interns today was hella fun....dollar hotdogs! haha...but it was HELLA FREEZING! me and madel got a little close in order to create some body heat...muahahaha..a little rubbing, touching goin on. we even used a damn umbrella to block the wind from hitting us..haha...gheeeetoooo! maan..all i wanted was some PINK COTTON CANDY! but did they have it? noooooooooo...they had green and yellow....wtf?

other than that...ive been really happy lately ;> feels nice to have someone to chill with and talk to

Aww..the weekend is over!
maan..this weekend was soo FckN great ;>

Friday: PAA's semi formal was soo much fun! i danced the whole freakin night away! i swear that dance was waaay too short. i wish we could relive it. high school all over again. it was at the Berkeley Marina so it was hella pretty by the water. RAYMOND T. and MENDRICK came up so that was hella cool. funny cause raymond and i actually went to a dance together..haha. too bad they couldn't stay long and i didnt get to show them around berkeley..but yea, there's always next year. i'm glad they had fun too. thanks for being my first visitors guys! afterwards everyone came over and chilled here for a bit...stayed up til like 4 in the morning watching saved by the bell with roel..hah, i love that show

Saturday: May 3rd (significant because it's the day before may 4th..haha..youre gay) roel took me to SF...even though things didnt go as HE planned..it was all good and i had fun...definetly a night to remember..especially cause its may 3rd, haha...we watched "identity" which was a pretty trippy movie...not all that scary though. hmm...then kicked it all night. tried to watch drumline but fell asleep...thanks for everything..especially your jacket ;p

Sunday: a day with the girls....madel and sherlyn took me out for dinner at the Thai House because of our "pact"..so yea, that was cool. they're soo cute. thanks guys ;> ...next year fosho! plus jay magpantay surprised me with a phone call..maan that was hella cool. he's in chicago right now for the navy...it was soo good hearing from him. he told me we're gonna have a pretend wedding..haha, good shit. he's still a sweetheart ;>