wow...i'm at home! feeels soo good! but it's also weird. it feels like i never left but then everything looks different to me. i dont know if that makes sense..but yea...maan when we landed i was all smiling and yelling and jumpin around and shit...but then...f*ckN i got a phone call that pissed the f*ck out of me...if i'm over it, why cant she be? daaang...grr i hate that. it totally killed my ride home...it aint gonna ruin my whole stay here though..

today i went to MORSE to do some outreaches for PASS....it looks soo different! it was nice seeing all my old teachers and bein in ASB again. even ms scarborough, who i thought hated me cause i always messed around, was glad to see me. or maybe she was just being nice? haha...oh well...she seemed glad and that's all that matters. plus she's real blunt so if she didnt like me then it would have shown...hah, dang i went on about that..

but yea...reaching out to the seniors and talking about college and stuff was really fun. you feel soo old. i remember in high school when old students came to visit the teachers..i would always look up to them..and now i'm the one getting the visitor's pass...and talking about my college experiences...how weird!

ok yea...the end..happy thanksgiving everyone!

it's ONE week at cal...ONE love, ONE struggle, ONE purpose...where all the minorites come together and build bridges over gaps that keep us apart and become united...

interesting week...

tues...met yes

wed...went to ONE mic (open mic)..very interesting..DEEEP...i totally felt the spoken words ..stayed up til 4 am to finish my book

thurs...free "hot chick" screening...met rob schneider and his PILIPINO mom! haha... and got autographs ..got my thesis down

fri...senior show...GRIPPA funny! ..then "freshmen gathering"...thanks to chris natividad...had soooo much fun..at the "after party"..hahah...once again didnt sleep til 7...gosh! i hate that!

sat-tues...writing a paper!

ps..sorry aaron i'm not goin to sadies anymore...promise i'll make it up!

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! we met YES! daaamn..thanks to jelly for calling us up with the qucikness! ;> haha...what a moment! now...gotta find malik..even if jelly already saw him...

i got "friday after next" tickets...but i'm not going..damn paper..i have to start doin things the right way!

wow...long time no blog! it's been a GRIPPA busy lately! geez..where do i start! all i've been doin is playing..i need to start getting serious about my paper..it's comin up pretty fast! hmm...here's what's been up...so i was auctioned off at the PAA date auction on friday..haha..what an experience! it was pretty fun! but damn..now i'm broke off my ass! f****ck! i bought chris..maan, i guess i got caught up in the hype...it's all good though...it's for the veterans! then i chipped in with the girls and drea and bought chris and "special" ed...and aaron bought me, what a guy!..how nice! thanks a lot maan! i soo appreciate it! ;> so that was that...loads of fun! afterwards we ate at mcdonalds..MmmmMMM...oh and some bum yelled at us. i swear i though he was gonna hold us hostage!but anyways...we then headed to mike's party...we were dead tired and had to wake up early the next morning..but we still went cause we're just like that. it was kinda wack...soo hot and musty in the room and the DJ was "eh"...then we went to sherlyn and madel's cause it was only 1 and no one wanted to go home. but then stupid...they all left and it was just jelly, chris, and me. i fell asleep during "13 ghosts"..no surprise there! haha. so i didnt sleep til like 5. woke up late at 7:40...had to be at FED (filipino empowerment day) high school conference at 7 45..but freakin no one was even there after i rushed out and ran my ass to campus...geez...i hate that. it was a GRIPPA tiring! i was there from 8-4..but it had its good moments...spoken words and a workshop on pilipino parents and their children..pretty deep dude..i teared...then we took brian and viv to the DC..chilled with some pretty cool guys from davis..and headed off to the PAA rollerskating thing..freakin 8 bucks! shit! and you know i got tired after the first 10 minutes! then we went to inn n' out in union city..MmmmMmm..felt like mission valley. played mind games on the way back..took me the whole 30 minutes to figure out that damn number stuff! but yea...ive had to much fun. now i gotta work on that damn 10 pager!

today we BSed a presentation on freakin vegans..they're soo boring! i missed 2 classes cause i was napping. i stayed up til 5 to finish that shit. then had a PASS meeting and took bayani to the DC for the first time...haha, he had too much fun. the end of my long update on my life...now its maaad poli sci crunch time! ; /

home in ONE week! yesss!

the past two days have been soo much fun! you dont even know! so what have i been up to you might be wondering? well...COOKING! hell yea.....! on sunday, jelly had some left over meat from something that she was going to return but i suggested we cook it and have a lil party...we cut it up and marinated it to make some BIPSTEK! then sherlyn, madel, and i got inspired and decided to go back to safeway and get some real STEAK and POTATOES to cook that night since we had to wait for the bipstek to marinate...maan....we we're soo proud! we had our little rice, fruits, and such to go with it....maan oh maan was that stuff good! everything was all nicely fixed in sherlyn's little kitchen...hahah...aaron and chris joined us and we had soo much fun eating this home-cooked meal and watching 7th heaven..haha...it felt like home! we got soo excited! and tonight we had the BIPSTEK...wow...we are soo bomb! you feel all adult when you look at the food you prepared. it's like...i went to the store to get that, i prepared it, and i cooked it all by myself! shows how capable and ready we are for our apartment! shiiiit! ya know?! daang..we had soo much fun cooking that! i even dropped the honey dew at the store..hahaha...well actually the plastic broke and madel just stood there laughing! sheesh..i was soo embarrassed! sure we had to " barrow" stuff or well...A LOT of stuff from the DC...but it's all good! haha... and i almost got caught up making chris's sandwich, good thing the guy was a GRIPPA cool and let me go...we even chatted a little bit...dang that scared me though!

tonight was a GRIPPA fun! jelly was down on midterms..and ya know we're here to cheer her up! we ended up dancing all night, laughing, and what not...chris came over later that night to eat and chill...gosh...these good times just keep on coming! i love it! life is great and berkeley is scoring more and more points each day! ;>

i'm bored...stalling on homework actually...this weekend was pretty dead. everyone went home for the 3 day weekend. i wish i could go home! sheeesh! but anyways..last night we skipped Theatre Rice and went to dinner with "kuya" jerald and ali instead. we ate at the Thai House..good food...and yea...chilled a little bit at madel and sherlyn's. all ive been doing is reading...trying to get this book done so i can start on that horrible 10 page paper! grrr...! the thought just kills me! tonight was pretty fun. ate dinner with the girls...then we all walked jelly to her chem midterm review cause it was pretty far into campus. we were a GRIPPA (notice how i'm gonna stop saying "hella!") scared cause it was soo dark and so we sang aloud all the way there to keep us busy..haha..yea we're dorks. so we get there like half and hour late and i ended up staying with jelly for that 3 hour midterm review! it wasn't soo bad though...saw a really cute guy..jelly didnt think i could find one but i sure did! haha...too bad he left early so we couldnt talk to him. but anyways...we tried walking back to the dorms but ended up scaring the shit out of ourselves cause it's soo dark and forresty on campus and there's this scary ass statue right in the middle of a bunch of trees. we called chris and he walked all the way over to pick us up and walk us back...awwww....what a sweetheart! sacrificing his dinner and all! haha...and yea...we all went to church at 10 together. and thats the end of my oh so great weekend! no school tomorrow...yeaaaa! ;>

so what's been goin on in berkeley? freakin RAIN, RAIN, and COLD! good thing i got my care package! haha..ahh family, they're the best! thursday i went to the free screening of "8 mile"...i thought it was EH..haha, it was just a bunch of fighting and battling...its a guy movie. i seriously thought it was about eminem's life but i guess it wasn't. i thought it was more of a comedy with "a little much" on the sex scenes...haha you'll see what i mean if you watch it! but i wouldn't pay to go see it..just download it! ;p

so friday was sherlyn's birthday...maaan..what a TRIP! another all-nighter! we had a little get-together in their dorm with "drinks." gosh...she is the funniest person to watch drunk! hahahaha...maan, good times! i'm such a wuss...i hate smirnoff! i freakin bought that for everyone and couldn't even finish one bottle! BLEH! it tastes like sprite MY ASS! but once the vodka came..i downed it like nothing...i don't know...i'm weird like that. but yea, it was real cool. everyone all dancing..lap dances..games...and other stuff..HAHA. geez...and i wasn't even tipsy at all...i drank all that nasty shit for nothing! but its okay cause i still had the best time...i love laughing with my girls! slowly people started to leave cause they had stuff to do the next day..jelly, chris, and i ended up "sleeping" there..all on madel's bed cause sherlyn was sheisty..(JP)..haha, we just kept talking and watched parts of "a walk to remember." we WERE gonna watch the sun rise but i guess there was none cause of the clouds..hahaha. i was "A GRIP OF" awake...(jelly and i made that word FIRST chris!!)..sorry guys i kept making noises while you were sleeping! haha.. but yea..we went home at 7 in the morning cause jelly had a conference to go to...another fun night to remember at berkeley!

now i gotta do homework.. ; /

today was freakin great! i was soo ENLIGHTENED! first i headed off to the SLC with gabby to get some help on what i should do about math since its killing me...they gave me some really good suggestions...i also talked to a lot of peer advisors..people who have been there, done that. it feels soo good to know that i'm not the only one out there cause that's how ive been feeling. i felt soo much better! ;>

PASOC was the same..today's topic was family. we did skits and stuff so it was fun...then we got personal. we did a "fish bowl" which is basically a DEEP discussion on certain issues that affect you personally..things like pressures on being a guy/girl, pressures on going to school...etc. its was real cool...turns out we're all feeling the same pressures in life. everyone shared something and you just HELLA feel them and what they're goin through...maan...it came at good time too since i was all down on my midterms and such. there were even little tears here and there..it was a real good "let out" session...(SIGH...)

now all i need in my life is DIRECTION....HOW am i gonna end up? WHERE am i gonna end up? and doing WHAT?! argh..so fustrating! ;

maan...midterms killed my high! ;*( gosh....i remember the days when i used to be soo smart...back in high school, things were soo easy for me. i barely studied and got my A's one after another...in berkeley i STUDY MY ASS OFF and cant even get the grades to show for it... WTF?! daaamn...i hate college. i wanna go back to the simple days of morse high. even if things didnt seem so simple back then...i'd give anything to regain the feeling of an "A"....ahhh yess...the feeling of being smart again. i feel like such a dumbass at berkeley...! grrr...what am i doin here?! i wanna sue the idiot who admitted me! yea yea..i know, i can't be soo pessimistic...but what am i suppose to think?! i'm at a low again...cryin my eyes out...why is college soo hard for me?! did i lose half my brain over the summer? i don't know...

i called my sister today ballin...maan...she was a big help though...made me look on the brighter side of things...thanks big sis! dang..she's so nice to me...i have to be nicer to her, or at least try not to bug her purposely...haha...i cried to my dad too...gosh..im such a disppointment...i'm soo sorry..

..on a higher note, i got tickets to the screening of "8 miles"..yea!! (fake happy...)

this week was full of nothing but studying, fun, new exeriences, and NO SLEEP!

round 2 midterms are OVER!!! hell yea! two midterms in a row...piece of cake! ;p i studied my ass off for them....especially math! freakin up til 3:30 in the morning for my 8:00 midterm...fudge! i dont know how i did...hopefully good cause i KNOW i worked hard. but yea...the same night was halloween...everyone was planning to go to CASTRO..this gay and lesbian district in SF that's kinda like new orleans mardi gras..i guess its the place to be on halloween. so i went with a bunch of us..sherlyn, madel, and i dressed up as nerds with these dorky hats, glasses, and suspenders..i felt NERDY..haha but anyways...we took the bart over there..and thats a story of its own. maaan was that shit packed! it was a sea of people getting to the same place...unknown bodies and body parts pressing up against you and all up in your face! ga-ross! but it was hella fun..i just kept laughing and falling down cause the bart was soo shaky. sherlyn cracks me up..haha...so when we finally got to SF, we had to walk a couple blocks to get there..not so bad. SF was packed. the castro was freakin crazy! everyone's all dressed up and drunk off their asses. bottles everywhere...it was kinda scary but an experience to definetly remember! we were sober..but next year we know that to have fun at castro you gotta be drunk! ;p we ran into random folks from berkeley..that was cool. we basically just walked up and down looking at people. there's people here and there making out and what not..haha..by 1 we were hella tired already..decided to catch the bus home since we missed the bart. but we ended up walking miles and miles (literally) to the bart since the buses were already packed. and we were "A GRIP OF HELLA" hungry! so we ate at denny's....that was fun. i kept laughing. actually the whole night i was laughing...i'm on a high of my own! so we finally get on the bart at like 4...got back at 5, walked around campus scaring ourselves, then since no one was sleepy...had a movie morning! haha..half us fell asleep though.."the ring" in japenese..ooOohh...haha. so we all went home at 7 30 in the morning..thank god i didnt have classes. i felt bad for the people that did though..so thats the end of halloween 2002..lots of fun and very tiring!

Friday night...BOWLES PARTY!! it's supposedly "the party" of the year...and maan oh maan it sure was! it was at the bowles dorm..the nice all guy dorm that looks like a castle...where the whole hall building was basically converted into a party house. ever seen those crazy college parties on tv and in movies? thats EXACTLY how it was...it was sooo packed! people chillen in other people's rooms..smoking...drinking...alcohol passed out freely everywhere..there were thousands of people there. hella crazy!! i lost the group and ended chillen just me and sarah with these guys in the dorm room. his dorm had a freakin patio type deal...we chilled out there looking at the beautiful view of the city and the stars...ahhhh...it was soo chiiil. we danced here and there...it was actually too packed to even move around. we spent most of the time in the dorm. i left early at 1 cause i was hella tired and i had to bring back some of my floormates who were "out of it." ahh...dang..hella crazy shit..

thats the end of the week...no more partying for me...im all partied out..i have to start working on my 10 page paper...but first i must read the book...haha...sorry that was long..pace!