back in berkeley

i wish the week didnt end. now its back to the life of school. i really really did NOT want to leave home. im not even sure when ill be back since im staying here for summer school. eh...back to reality.

the rest of the break was fun. wednesday i went to seaworld with my mom, sis, and little bro darius. haven't been there since senior year but theres nothing special about that place anyways. we did everything in the park in a matter of 4 hours. friday i did an outreach with berkeley at morse....good good stuff. its always nice to give back to the community and reconnecting with roots. mrs graham still loves me! haha...i loved her class. well hated the work but loved going to 6th period every day. it was one of my faves senior year with kristine a. i kinda got sad speaking to some of these kids though. a lot of them are soo unmotivated about school and life in general. that sucks. i feel sorry that they feel that way. morse in general is different though...no miyasaki, new buildings, new paints...things have definetly changed. heck, the whole area is changing! since when was mcdonalds peach? and the houses on woodman? okaaay?!...haha..i guess im out of the loop.

the trip back here was sooo coool though, we were on a plane with some people from seaworld and a penguin! that thing kept me occupied the whole ride. we even got some cool shamu key chains! lovely..just lovely!

oh yea, dont watch dawn of the dead. i thought it was stupid. and if you did see it...would you risk yourself to save that dumb girl who risked herself at her own will to save a stupid dog?! heeeeeeeeeeeeeck nooooo! i would have slapped her.

spring break is off to a great start...so far catching up on my sleep has been the most fun ;p my little bro darius is as tall as me now, we have the most comfiest leather couch now, shopping is fun...there's soo many things i want, i wish i could work, the only thing is that the weather sucks, sunny but a little chilly. but all in all...feels sooo good to be home and AWAY from berkeley. although i admit i have been studying...i guess there's always gonna be that nerdy side of me ;>

right now im kinda homeless for the next school year....hmm...long story but no hard feelings. (by the way its NOT cause we dont get along!) there's still a chance things could work out though. so im still hoping and praying.

happy birthday kristine alberto!....geeez, havent seen you in a hot one! take care dude!

very random story...

i was sitting around at roel's apartment minding my own business untill i heard some banging on the window. (just so you can visualize this, roel's side window is directly facing his neighbors only like 3-4 feet away)...so i took it upon myself to find out what the noise was all about...so i slightly lifted up ONE blind and BAM!!! there it is...a naked white guy reavealing anything and everything God has given him. WOW...all i can say is THANK GOD i did not open the blinds all the way..that would have been waaay too awkward. i really dont know if he saw me, but daaamn, can we put some clothes while adjusting the window?! ;p

friday was norwin's surprise party...(i swear almost everyone has had a bday surprise party here)...but norwin's reaction was the best thus far. he walks in and says "oh, what the fck?" haha...good job pretending to act surprised dude. there was soo many people there..and once again everyone liked our chicken and cake. i should start a dang catering service. anyways..that night was definetly chill for me. jely bought a freakin hookah...good stuff! roel was passed out and we had to drag him out of jely's room...funny...saturday was PURE LAZINESS! first weekend with no midterms to worry about ; > im heading back to SD this saturday if anyone cares and wants to hang out....

today i had a TOTAL REVELATION...i decided to check out PANAMA (Pilipino American Netowrking and Mentorship with Alumni) in hopes of gaining some knowledge from past berkeley students who have been in my shoes. ive been soo lost here at berkeley. but today it hit me and i realized what was wrong with me. i lack the leadership, motivation, and amibition i once had...in high school i had dreams of going to UCSD and in order to get there i made sure i got stratight As, i got involved in ASB, and didnt let anything get in the way of those dreams. i worked soo hard and did better than i expected. i go to berkeley. though for some reason, i unconsciencly let all that leadership, motivation, and ambition go. i didnt get as involved as much as i should have, i instead worked in the shadows of people, and had no motivation or GOAL to work toward since i had no idea what i wanted to be. i remember in high school i used to go to these conferences held by SDSU and UCSD and think to myself..."dang, these people go to freakin college." i only hoped to be as smart as them. i looked up to them so much. and today, looking at these alumni i had the same feelings. these people freakin did it...they graduated berkeley and now attend grad/med schools and work for some of the biggest companies. all i can say is WOW. i was in total awe. just hearing their stories, advice, and accomplishments pushed me to get back to my old self. the person i was in high school who was confident, strong, will-powered, and had so much goin for her. nowadays it seems like all i do is study...and ya know thats gonna kill me sooner or later. so from now on, i vow to myself to get more involved..become a leader once again in one of the pilipino organizaions, become motivated that i WILL graduate and not let my grades bring me down, and let my ambition guide me to one day attending....MED SCHOOL???? we'll see... im feeling inspired.

whatever right?.....its over. i cant help it, im sorry. i just wanna go home.

aahhh....it feels good to have the hard midterms out of the way...not that i think i did well or anything, im just glad its over. i still have stat on thursday, but i dont think its gonna be that hard. so basically things have been chill since wednesday night. roel is the sweetest....well i am too. haha, JP. for our anniversary i bought him a bag of his favorite candy, wrote a note on it, and hid it in his bag pack. then later he surprised me with a dozen red roses...well acutally 13, i guess the guy miscounted ; > haha. it was my first flowers from a guy, cheesy but i always think the littlest things mean so much more...so that was that. friday roel and i went shopping and of course i bought stuff from hollister...evil store i tell ya! then we met up with chris, jely, madel and michael in san leandro to eat some sushi and caught a move at union city. we saw roel's ex working there....but it honestly wasnt weird. i was tryin to say hi but she was busy. ive never met her but i guess she knows my face and smiled at me. anyways...the passion of christ was a very emotional movie. a little too gruesome..but thats how everything went down...so we get back around 2...(could have gone deer watching but we passed...muahhaha. JP) today was the first saturday in ages that i didnt have to force myself to get up and study and it felt HELLA GOOD. madel and i went to wet seal and i got some jeans for 20 bucks...woohoo! didnt even know it was on sale. then i went with roel and ian to the northface outlet...id buy a jacket but its waaaay too expensive, even on sale. then we ate at applebees and now im home and dont wanna do homework. boo freakin hooo!

physics midterm tonight...here we go again : /

drama?...no. its just the harsh reality of me being dumb :*( and honestly...nothing can be said to make me feel better. errrrrrrrr.........i HATE this! dang, if its anything i complain about in this world, it has to be school. sad....very sad. i wish school was easier...wait, scratch that. i wish i was smarter. no wonder so many kids at berkeley go through depression...



on a lighter note...today's 10 months <3 im glad i have someone to keep me goin everyday, who knows how i'd be if roel wasnt there for me.....id go INSAAANE.