;> :*( : /

right now i hate myself...(for various reasons) and i apologize a millions times to everyone i brought down with me.

i need a retreat away from "life," or Berkeley if you will. SAVE ME if you can!!


no more myspace, no more facebook...

and sadly enough, no more blog. why? because i think this thing has become too pessimistic. maybe one day ill get the motivation to talk about the good stuff instead of dwelling on the bad..that'll be the day.

here's to school, fixing my fcked up head, and bringing back the dorky, little girl who started her freshman year at Berkeley 3 years ago, only this time she'll have a better head on her shoulders. (i dyed my hair back to black...that should be a good start right?? ;p)



im sad, i love this thing. but as they say in life, "all good things must come to an end."

not my fckn day

#1 woke up to sun...dressed in capris and a tank top only have to the sun go away to leave me cold as heck

#2 got the monthly visitor

#3 CRAMPS

#4 lost my eraser

#5 couldnt find any chocolate covered gummi bears

#6 TRIED to dye my hair by myself.....
























DAYAM i suck :(

ahhh...feels good

i think one of the best feelings is crossing items off on my planner...ALL of em' :)

.prettygirl.

finally taking away the cake.

"killer instincts"...literally.

because sharing is caring

IF A MAN WANTS YOU

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.

If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.

Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache. Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be. Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve, then HELL NO you can't "be friends!" A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are still not better. The only person you can control in a relationship is yourself. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you differently? Always have your own set of friends separate from his. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later. You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within. Don't ever make him feel he is more important than you are. Even if he has more education or a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less. Never let a man define who you are. Never borrow someone else's man. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you. A man will only treat you the way you allow him to treat you. All men are NOT dogs. You should not be the one doing all the bending. Compromise is a two-way street. You need time to heal between relationships. There is nothing cute about baggage. Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship. You should never look for someone to complete you! A relationship consists of two whole individuals. Look for someone complimentary, not supplementary. Dating is fun, even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.

Make him miss you sometimes. When a man always knows where you are and you're always readily available to him, he takes it for granted. Never move into his mother's house. Never co-sign for a man. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar, but get to know others.
Share this with other ladies. You'll make someone smile, another rethink her choices, and another woman prepare.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, and an entire lifetime to forget them.

-taken from somewhere

party hard, study hard-er

that's my saying, but i think this week i practiced the opposite. oh geez, my liver and my bank account (ie the moms and pops) need to forgive me. 5 nights straight...twas a week to remember...

1. tuesday: henry's "2 for $5" (how could you not?!), then blakes for the runbutan fundraiser where we spent pretty much the whole night at the bar. good seeing the kuya again. aww, all his adings are drinking legally now! the only comment i have to say for the rest of the night is "sorry."
2. wednesday: mari came over so we headed over to the pool hall again. had my first shot at the bar...kamikazes are sooo goooooood :) my new fave. great times chillen
3. thursday: pool hall night #2...reunited with marc and labib. best time drunk at a bar ever! seriously good times ya'll. i wish i took pictures of us. ended up throwing up when i got home :(
4. friday: "make out party"...hah, can't believe people believed me. had a little kick-back with the folks again. attempted a beer bong and failed miserably. oh well.
5. saturday: jimmy and esther's 21st...first time @ bears lair. glad to say the only taste of alcohol i had was a sip of jimmy's beer. being with them makes me miss the dorms soo much. not to mention the roomie drea...aww, i miss her so much. now its 3 out of 3! (well currently 2 out of 3).

so now im here....tired as fck. despite all this galavanting, i still managed to wake up at 8am everyday to do schoolwork. gotta give me credit for that!

oh yea, first PAHCing session was great! thanks ya'lls for coming out :) soo much to do for PAHC, it makes me crazy sometimes. but i still love it.

NO MORE TIL FRIDAY! promise.

706 freshman roomates

Gaia Girls

im sad and you're not fair

1) this week's physics hw has no hints.

2) i bought a fake snake to scare people with....it hardly scared anybody. weak reactions from madel, roel, norman, and kay ann. that's four times the disappointment. errr...i knew i should have done it to sherlyn.

3) its as cold as the north pole in berkeley. you know what that means? i need to go shopping!

4) i missed laguna beach last night.

5) i was right. i knew it would stop.

BehindTheseHazelEyes....i heart kelly

becasue they always make me smile:
















can we go to disneyland already??

my mind is scattered

PAHC/P4/PASAE camping retreat: unbelievable

so many people called this retreat the best they've been on so far. aint that somthin'? seriously, mad props to the presidents and coordinators cause they really brought together all our cores in so many ways. our weekend in livermore was quite memorable...fun, VERY productive, and enlightening. familiar faces around campus have turned into friends. i was deeply empowered with our collaborations. it's gonna take a lot of work, but im excited to see our goals played out.....ahhhh, i can't wait! it's gonna be such a GOOD YEAR for all of us! ;D

school: overwhelming

it's only the third week and already people are freaking out about the first physics midterm. i say, "shut the fck up cause its a freakin month away!" just looking at my calendar for the next 4 months makes me anxious and excited at the same time. it's gonna be a busy semester...oh maaaaaan.

everything else: a little bit of everything
i need to find a new comfort zone.


here's a picture from our mini-retreat:

i dont know why, but i hella crack up when i see this. looks like we're all dancing when we were really standing around. that's kat's friend Talan in the back. can you see chandra behind me? hahahah

this is what college is all about :)

first off...first general PAHC meeting was great. alumni came out, freshmen came out, non-health majors came out....the pilipino community is wonderful! thanks for the support!

afterwards, madel and i tried to round up the seniors for some bar action. unforunately, it came down to me, madel, and norman. hahah...ya'll missed out though! quality over quantity...all you need is a drink and a good conversion. exactly what we had all night...3 bars, 3 drinks, 3 tipsy folks. came home and ended the night with some tequila lime chicken. oh what a night :) came to the realization that ive known norman for the past three years, and yet this is the first time ive actually had some one-on-one with him. so here's my senior year goal: catch up on what ive been missing out with everyone....building real relationships and frienships instead of the superficial "hello." yes?? yes.

ps...made my first "drunken" call last night to the olbf. hahahhah. sorry :/

later gators....camping here i come!

Since you've been GONE

went to the kelly clarkson concert..ok, well, listened actually. chilled behind the dorms and got a good view of the stage, but not kelly. cheap? nope. im glad i didnt spend $50 cause she only sang for an hour and didnt perform "moment like this." besides that, i still love her! she sounded so goood. when "since you've been gone" played, i swear every girl was singing their hearts out. i guess we can all relate?? hahahhahah. love it!

pahc core....it's gonna be a good year! i can't wait for more memories and laughs :) ps, hi guys! thanks for reading my blog. i guess i dont have to spill my guts to you anymore since ya'll are up to date? haha

i have some predictions....that things will no longer be the same. IM READY.

by the way....don't ya love this color background?? i do!

another turned 21

happy birthday to madel! hope you had fun...wait, i know you did cause we planned it! tricked her into thinkin she wasnt gonna get her midnight cake. funny. dinner at joshuya's was nuts...so many people showed up that we didnt have room for. fckn ms. popular! sake bomb was fun....i actually finished mine this time thanks to the party of frat guys next to us that were cheering us on. a bit nerve-wrecking ya know. afterwards....blakes! too bad the dj sucked major ass. tried our best to make it work.

http://www.imagestation.com/member/?name=jennx285


first week of school...what can i say? i love my classes :) i have the cutest anatomy teacher in the world. she's an old lady who still insists on writing on chalk boards...and in cursive. every week she randomly selects two names to have lunch with. call me a nerd, but i really hope i win one! :crossing fingers:

when did i get back? a week and a half ago with $100 in my wallet. and now, i have $0. how freakin sad! at least i had some good times with good food!

lots of firsts:
-pasta pomodoro- 2 entrees and a dessert for $20...thank God for that for coupon. halibut was sooo gooood! you're so lucky i chose you to share it with :)
-haight street-its expensive there but i love their clothes
-coffee bean- yea, can you believe it? i like the little glass cups they give when you drink there.
-tad's steak house- $12 for a steak, baked potato, salad, and garlic bread. great food, not so great atmosphere. i swear that place looked haunted.

i finally feel good....learning to live in the moment