don't really feel like updating, but i feel like i should before i forget everything.

since we were freshman, angelo, jely, and i dreamt of the day we turned 21. we always talked about a combined birthday party where we got crazy drunk. well here's the rundown:
-black and white affair
-surplus of alcohol
-dj
-hookah
-hot and waaay too crowded
-popped @ 12:30pm
-at least everyone was having fun??

all i can say is that it took a lot of effort for me to have fun. didnt even get drunk. hookah and dancing were some of the best therapies yet. temporary relief. best part of the night? when the roommates surprised us with that cake. i love em.

saturday i bummed it all day with sherlyn and kay ann. had a bonding moment on the couch with chris. good laughs..at my expense but its ok.

current status: i think im doing really well. definitely past the angry "fck you, i hate you, dont talk to me ever" stage. my appetite is back (and baby love too), no more crying, no more sitting and staring into space with "my shattered dreams and broken heart." now its the , "what's next?" stage. forgive and forget? not me, or at least not yet. try to work things out and be friends? i would but i dont know how, or even if i could. after all, you can only hold a grudge for so long. im tired of watching my back everytime i go out just in case i run into him. errr....im soo lost right now. dont know what to do, dont know what i want. for now, im just not talking to him at all. someone please tell me that i'm doing the right thing and i wont regret it later :(