friday was norwin's surprise party...(i swear almost everyone has had a bday surprise party here)...but norwin's reaction was the best thus far. he walks in and says "oh, what the fck?" haha...good job pretending to act surprised dude. there was soo many people there..and once again everyone liked our chicken and cake. i should start a dang catering service. anyways..that night was definetly chill for me. jely bought a freakin hookah...good stuff! roel was passed out and we had to drag him out of jely's room...funny...saturday was PURE LAZINESS! first weekend with no midterms to worry about ; > im heading back to SD this saturday if anyone cares and wants to hang out....

today i had a TOTAL REVELATION...i decided to check out PANAMA (Pilipino American Netowrking and Mentorship with Alumni) in hopes of gaining some knowledge from past berkeley students who have been in my shoes. ive been soo lost here at berkeley. but today it hit me and i realized what was wrong with me. i lack the leadership, motivation, and amibition i once had...in high school i had dreams of going to UCSD and in order to get there i made sure i got stratight As, i got involved in ASB, and didnt let anything get in the way of those dreams. i worked soo hard and did better than i expected. i go to berkeley. though for some reason, i unconsciencly let all that leadership, motivation, and ambition go. i didnt get as involved as much as i should have, i instead worked in the shadows of people, and had no motivation or GOAL to work toward since i had no idea what i wanted to be. i remember in high school i used to go to these conferences held by SDSU and UCSD and think to myself..."dang, these people go to freakin college." i only hoped to be as smart as them. i looked up to them so much. and today, looking at these alumni i had the same feelings. these people freakin did it...they graduated berkeley and now attend grad/med schools and work for some of the biggest companies. all i can say is WOW. i was in total awe. just hearing their stories, advice, and accomplishments pushed me to get back to my old self. the person i was in high school who was confident, strong, will-powered, and had so much goin for her. nowadays it seems like all i do is study...and ya know thats gonna kill me sooner or later. so from now on, i vow to myself to get more involved..become a leader once again in one of the pilipino organizaions, become motivated that i WILL graduate and not let my grades bring me down, and let my ambition guide me to one day attending....MED SCHOOL???? we'll see... im feeling inspired.